Let's set out some ground rules right up front. First, if you plan on purchasing a Xbox One or a PS4 because of a game title exclusive to either system, you may not be able to relate or you may feel differently. Having only purchased Nintendo game consoles for Zelda, this is understandable.
Second, if you are purchasing either system purely for some core spec, this will not apply to you. Gotta have the fastest ram despite the ability to discern real world performance gain? Having used a HP 48G graphing calculator as opposed to a TI-86 (until my statistical-design-undoing), this is also understandable.
Third, it is completely reasonable if you plan on punishing Microsoft out of pure principle. At least seemingly, they have made it easier for the government to get a gander at you in your skivvies... Tostitos to the left of you, overproof White Rum to the right. Though Microsoft is probably not nearly as far from Sony in this regard, buying a PS4 to take a stance for privacy makes some sort of sense.
Those things aside, the Xbox One is the system to buy; it seems like the "next-gen" system between the two.
There is a reason why 80 percent of anything Microsoft discusses about Xbox One involves the Kinect. The first iteration of Kinect was amazing and the improvements have made it incredible... face recognition, wide angle, fine movement detection, it is the future. The hardware specifications of either console are too similar to be a separator. Similarly, over time the visuals or graphics developers will be able to wring out of either hardware will no doubt be on par. Motion and voice detection is simply a must have for a next-gen system and Sony doesn't seem to think so. Microsoft gets it; motion, voice and other functionality is where its at, and that's where Xbox and Kinect shines.
Xbox One is closer to transforming your living room into a Tex Avery "House-of-Tomorrow" than the Playstation 4. Those silly House-of-tomorrow gadgets had easily cognizable benefits, even through outrage or fear, and so does the next Xbox.
Your outrage is next-gen. Ironically, (or maybe not so much), most of the heat Microsoft has gotten has been a result of pushing the envelope. People were understandably upset about the always-on connection/phoning home requirement. As a "requirement" it was asinine. Sony's marketing team rightfully exploited this move by Microsoft, who could have easily marketed the always-on connection as an option with amazing rewards for the user who chose to take advantage of the feature. My guess is most users would leave the Xbox in an always-on configuration as the rewards would have been too great not to. Nonetheless, gamer outrage means the status quo has been upended.
Likewise, your fear is next-gen. People are scared of walking into a room and having a robot-eye recognize their face, tell them hello and fire-up all their preferences. Some of the more extreme members of this group seem to think Microsoft will eventually announce, a la NASA, "did we mention that every Kinect has been equipped with a face-melting-laser and ChemCam?" That fear while it may be somewhat justified, is present because your instincts tell you to approach with caution. Your instincts tell you to approach with caution because you are in unfamiliar territory. That is, something feels different and new.
As such, outside of the reasons mentioned at the outset I cannot see purchasing Sony's Playstation 4 instead of Microsoft's Xbox One. This is without remarking on many of the benefits of HDMI pass-through Kinect functionality, instant source switching and notifications, or Skype.